Pillow Talk

Erotic Tales

#3 – Are you on Facebook (Twitter)?

NO. NO. NO … and still NO.
Facebook is billed as a social network. If by social, you mean something akin to a party where everyone exchanges pleasantries and laughs politely without ever really saying anything, then I suppose it is.

What is it about Facebook that I dislike so much? Is it the pokes, zombies and other random crap that initially flooded my inbox? Well yes … and more.  Do all those status updates and movie quizzes and virtual gifts actually help develop real connections? I somehow doubt it. Facebook is designed (intentionally or not) to discourage in-depth exchanges. For instance, with Notes comments are limited to just a few hundred characters. Just enough to let people drop nice little comments, but not enough to let people actually give any sort of in-depth response. Maybe some people want that limit, but I can’t see making the effort to write something and then saying, “I’d really prefer that you not actually think about this.”

Am I really that self absorbed that I want a page dedicated to myself and need others to know what I am doing every minute of the day? … and why do I want my pictures on show just so people can comment on them? Or am I really showing off? Or trying to … What does that say about me as a person? Nothing good I fear. If I was honest I would admit that I don’t want to read about what other people are doing every second of their day and that means my “friends” really don’t care what I’m doing. I think I need to get a life. Get out more …communicate normally again … in real time … with real people.

As for getting in touch with people from my past well people from my past are just that: From my past. Don’t take this the wrong way but I hated high school and hated College. Not the people, well, no actually a lot of that had to do with the people … but mostly that time in my life. The fact is, even as I do “reconnect” on facebook, I have no actual “connection” with them. Knowing that “so and so” is having a bad hair day, or that “such and such” is now some super vampire in “this or that” silly game is not being connected. On a more personal level, I kind of want to remember that guy from my Geography class in grade 11 as the hottie that he was. Seeing him all these years later as an overweight, balding dude who is “Hating Mondays and wants a burger for lunch” just kills those memories.

Then there is the “look at me factor” and “Keeping up with the Joneses” – ugh. Facebook could be compared to a high-school reunion, where everyone is desperate to show how painfully interesting, successful and popular they are. We (yes that includes me) have become obsessed with “image” and how we come across. How sad are those shots of our own faces taken by extending your arm, trying to look all “cool”.

“Friends” on Facebook, are just making the word so trivial. I have come to appreciate that it’s not about quantity but quality. Facebook has given the average Joe the chance of experiencing the glamour of stalking without having to achieve public notoriety. It’s cheap voyeurism. Only … there isn’t anything to see. I find I prefer the world of blogs. People with thoughts and things to say and opinions. There can be an exchange here. But even more important I am getting out there and DOING things. I am loving it!

And how do I remain anonymous? I have a pen name and removed my headshot from my blog for a reason …

For all the reasons posted above and many many more, facebook (for me privatly and as Fantasia Lillith) really is pointless, you can upload a picture of another person and comment on it and send it to your buddy, aaaand?

To put it bluntly, if my friends actually care enough about my life and what’s going on, they can either call me, e-mail me or *gasp* write me. If they are in town – I’d love to see them – if they aren’t in town I’d love to visit! And if they don’t have the time … well … I know where I fit in the big picture and I am ok not being that important to them.

I may change my mind one day – I was told it might be a good marketing tool for my work but my fans and readers can talk to me here via comments or e-mails so I don’t see the value (and I believe in my heart that facebook is dying).  Ascher said the way we communicate shows how our society is doing. What does facebook say then? We want to know a lot of people but just in a superficial way. I read someplace that “Facebook is for friendship the same thing that McDonald is for the food. Quick, easy and probably not that healthy” . Maybe we should create a new word… fast-friends. I find this sad.

Yep, I think it’s time to take Facebook out to the curb in my private life, and I will not create one for Fantasia Lillith. I have given up fast-food so why would I sign up for fast-friending? Plus, I don’t need any more info-noise in my life.

If you want to stay in touch comment and/or send me an e-mail. It’s worked so far.



  1. I have often joked that if I did not give a damn about people from HS and University then, I truly do not now.

    I see why ppl FB; I know why I won’t.

    Comment by Liras | July 26, 2009 | Reply

  2. Yes, it is. I ignore them; they writhe in confusion.

    Comment by Liras | July 29, 2009 | Reply

  3. Damn, Fantasia. You make me want to deactivate my Facebook. Avid Facebooker that I am, I also agree 100% with everything you have written here. I agree that it is a good marketing tool, however. For me personally, it is also a nice way to stumble across the rare kindred spirit and like-minded individual. Still, you are right. For all intents and purposes, Facebook is the McDonalds of social interaction. Ironically, I am a member of a FB group titled “1,000,000 Recluses On Facebook”. I am a sucker for irony, so perhaps that is also why I stay on. 🙂

    Comment by Kalliope Amorphous | January 3, 2010 | Reply

    • I started this with no real intent on “marketing” my work. It seems that word of mouth has done about all I can handle to date. My lovely readers have mentioned me in posts of their own and traffic makes its way slow and steady. I am really grateful to them for that. You’ll have to explain to me how facebook works as a marketing tool … I admit I don’t get it.

      Comment by Fantasia Lillith | January 3, 2010 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: