Pillow Talk

Erotic Tales

#1 But… WHY?

So many of you have confided that you would delight in living more dangerously.  That you want to experience your fantasies not just dream them; that you don’t want the routine and predictability to slowly eat away at the very fabric of your relationship with others, or even yourselves.  For the most part I believe you, but not when it comes to sex. 

Due to the “mature” and intimate nature of what I write, many of you feel you can open up to me, share the fantasies that you have.  I am humbled, always listening and even grateful for the occasional idea/inspiration that can be like a little golden nugget setting off an entire story in my mind (you know who you are!).  To be honest, most of it is relatively tame, even what I author is tame.  A little voyeurism here, a little daredevil there, yet I always end up asking you the same question:

 “Why don’t you?”

“I can’t”  

“Why not?”

“I just can’t!!”

“But WHY??”

“Well… I … I.”

And there you have it, the disappointing reply.  Fear, prejudice, social branding, religion, insecurities … all shackles by any other name.  Why do we allow ourselves to be slaves to these? Is our need to be a sheep among the flock so great? Is the desire to be an invisible entity, which never rocks the boat, so intense that we at no time question and even fight back? We stamp out our desires like a dirty habit, an ugly cigarette. Is this truly what was meant for us?

There can be such beauty and also such ugliness around my writing; I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the volume.  Between the extremists from a variety of religions, the prudes and the down right aggressive creeps that believe that because I write erotica I am a whore that should be violated in every way … there are times I feel alone in this battle against narrow minded blindness. 

There is such hypocrisy around the entire subject; it is honestly mind-boggling.  I am thrilled to have so many readers, yet puzzled at the silence.  So few of you comment. Shyness I understand to a degree (anonymous entries should negate that) but fear? Fear of what?  The irony is never lost on me that the largest demographic of my readers (That is 67%) live or come from, countries where a lot of what I write is in fact … illegal. (That is a whole different rant for another day).  So to finally get to the point, dear readers and fans, let me answer your burning question: Why do I write?

 Because I can.

I have freed myself of those shackles, embraced my sexuality, let go of the fear and nurtured a sense of Romance and/or the Erotic creating my very own genre of Romantica.  I have been asked to share by those who have; like me, found pleasure and beauty in the gift that is sexuality in prose.  Those of you, who write, know what a gift words can be.  A gift is to be given, not kept in the dark, hidden from the world.

I will not insult those that have fought so valiantly for my freedom of expression and art.  It’s my own stance for freedom. True freedom – even from my own inner demons and self imposed shackles.



  1. Hello having watched my father die 15 yrs ago from liver failure due to an STD infection given to him by one of his ex-wives. I myself have no desire to actually risk my own marriage, life and health by attempting to live out any of the erotic fantasies that I write about.

    Throughout the print and television media men are put down, belittled and demonized for just being men that writing out my sexual fantasies and publishing them in my blog is my own special way of celebrating my manhood.

    Viva la Pinga

    Comment by Dabir Dalton | July 12, 2009 | Reply

    • Thank you for your comment.

      “The person who risks nothing. does nothing. has nothing. is nothing. and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.”
      -Leo F. Buscaglia

      I do wish to clarify that I am in no way endorsing infidelity (In fact my upcoming story Nothing will convey that very clearly). Secrecy has been, and continues to be the biggest danger in any sex play.

      I am talking here of consenting, knowledge based fantasy. Fantasies come in all shapes and sizes and at all levels of “danger”. From high heels in bed and a light spanking to voyeurism and beyond. Living your fantasy would depend greatly on WHAT that fantasy is.

      As with all activities, precaution and protection is just smart – just like wearing a seat belt when driving. Know the rules and consequences. Ask yourself if you can live with any repercussions. Never abuse or betray another for your own pleasure.

      I am sorry for your loss. I too mourn my father.

      Comment by Fantasia Lillith | July 12, 2009 | Reply

  2. Something I read – I wish I could remember where.
    The printed word has always been used to say what we cannot speak of in the light of day, about the things we do in the dark. The vehicle or instrument may be new (blogs, e-mail, status updates, facebook) but the idea is not. It’s why so many of us have a Nom de Plume. I believe the internet is great for our democracy.
    We can’t all have a radio show or a talk show but we can get on the internet and have a voice. Free Speech – quite literally. The internet is allowing us to participate in spirited debates-intellectual gymnastics you can’t get even in a classroom. But one should be able to take what one dishes out.
    Full disclosure is a thing of the past as are, unfortunately, honesty and commitment. Take blogs for what they are worth; snippets of insight into someone’s personality and interests that facilitate interaction. You can get to know what an individual is thinking about without having to ask. In some cases, people are more willing to reveal personal details about their lives on a social networking site than to another human being.

    It is why I believe it will become more and more important for people to know how to write and express themselves, their emotions and true intentions with the written word. If there is any credibility in the intuitive postings on social networking sites, then these blogs are validated by the experiences of those who have been there and done just that.

    Comment by Fantasia Lillith | August 26, 2009 | Reply

  3. Just wanted to drop you a line to say, I enjoy reading your site. I thought about starting a blog myself but don’t have the time.
    Oh well maybe one day…. 🙂

    Comment by Donnieboy | October 12, 2009 | Reply

  4. Hey, I really enjoy your blog. I have a blog too in a totally unrelated field (Online Stock Trading) but I like to check in here on a regular basis, just to see what’s going on and it’s always interesting to say the least. It’s always entertaining what people have to say.

    Comment by HenleyL | October 13, 2009 | Reply

  5. You’ve summed up very eloquently why I write my blog, although I’ve only recently started liberating myself from the shackles I imposed upon myself. At the beginning, I’m not even sure I was entirely aware that I was shackled and was actually using my blog to try and keep it all contained… but once you open floodgates it is pretty hard to close them back up again. Nor do I want to…

    I use a Nom de Plume mainly because unfortunately the role I will play in society requires me to be “less free” in my speech.

    Your blog is wonderful, I’ve only just started reading and commenting… but I hope you keep writing for a very long time 🙂

    Comment by closetfascination | February 19, 2010 | Reply

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